Fight Club Osaka

If you dont want your feet stepped on; don't go dancing. If you don't want your drink spilled; stay at the bar, don't go dancing. If your looking for a fight, go join a boxing gym; DONT...GO....DANCING!

2011年03月18日
OSAKA 大阪

The place is full of testosterone. I try my best to play it cool with the ladies and when I pick a dancing partner I decide to ask the gentlemen they are with for permission and keep a comfortable distance. Yet it doesn't take long for someone to start grinding and make my dancing partner uncomfortable enough to want to sit back down. Nice going homie (>_<)

Ok here's the climax. I'm in a circle grooving with the KK crew and I feel a bump behind me. My arm is suddenly grabbed by a gaijin who starts yelling at me for spilling his drink. He's holding my arm like I'm his step child and his speech and look are all in a threatening manner. My guess is he was Nigerian because Japan has a lot of African foreigners from Nigeria. On my first visit I recalled asking my friend Rocky if there was anything I should look out for when clubbing. His response was the Nigerians. He said "they like to start trouble". From my past experience I have dealt with them on the streets vending and many of them (not all) came off bossy. I was in the middle of someone playing the stereotype and I didn't like that one bit.

I am still there to have a good time so I apologize hoping he just move on. I mean the drinks were free and it didn't even spill on his shirt just his wrist. He doesn't accept my apology and threatens to throw the drink in my face. I apologize again but one thing has become clear, this guy wants trouble. He tightens my arm and I give him the wax on wax off motion to release my arm. I let Kodama know that this dude wants trouble. He couldn't understand a word since I was talking in English but I just needed him and the KK crew's attention, while still keeping the threat in my peripheral. The plan was to let this dude know that I was not alone hoping that he would back off and move on. That failed. He grabs my arm again like I'm his step son and I guess my testosterone levels are on high too because my reaction is: wax on wax off and a shove right across the dance floor. I roar to him "get the fuck off me!"(♯｀∧´)

From my experience, anyone who gets within a yard of you and seems like a threat, you regulate (｀_´)ゞor run away! ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ=3=3=3 Do not stand there doing nothing (ｰｰ) cause you will get hurt. I have never been in a fight at a club nor on foreign soil but I knew this animal was looking for a weaker prey to build his rock bottom self esteem on. If I were that big Lebron James looking dude who was with that Japanese model at the entrance I am dam certain my adversary would have kept it moving. Unfortunately for me I am a skinny 140 pound kid with glasses, but unfortunately for him I WILL STAND UP FOR MYSELF AND ANYONE GETTING PICKED ON BY THESE COWARDS IN THE CLOSET (^_-)

He was more muscle bound than me and I'm sure had size over me but I was much taller and had the reach advantage. Soon as he gets his balance back he walks in a almost charging motion in my direction in what I believe was an attempt to hang me up. "Big mistake" he has his hands down expecting me to sit there and take his punishment. As soon as he gets within striking distance, I jab em up twice. He stops stunned and holds his jaw as if it was about to fall off. I like to believe that it was the surprise of his weaker looking opponent striking back that really got him☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

He regains his composure and again walks towards me. My main objective was to keep him at a distance until the bouncers show up to kick us both out. I don't want this to get any hairier than it already has because I don't know if this scuffle will lead to me getting arrested by the end of the night. My next move is a stupid one: I attempt to give him a push kick to keep him away. Now I'm tipsy, the floors slippery, and I'm standing on one leg. Of course I lose my balance. I did not fall and managed to catch myself but I spin out of control and regaining my balance leaves my back turned to the threat at hand.

I turn around and get punched right in the face. My glasses fall to the ground. Fuck it (*｀へ´*) it's war now. He has his head down throwing blind punches attempting to put me on my ass. I grab his head and get em where I want him; the Thai clinch (^^) I throw a knee right into his abdomen and feel it dig in. Alistair Overeem would have high fived me for that one (=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=) He bum rushes me and before I can place my foot down to stop it and toss his ass, I fall on my ass with his knee on my face and weight on me.

I'm in a club fighting in a foreign country and I am the smaller guy below the bigger guy. You could say this is a fucked situation but guess who knows jujitsu bitch! Brazilian jujitsu at that (#^.^#) It doesn't take the skills of a blue belt to sweep his drunk ass over, land into half guard on top, where I immediately move into full mount, and smash his head in twice with my cross to have his hard headed skull bounce off the leg of the table we ended up under. Text book shit. Joe Rogan couldn't call it better. He looked dazed and was wobbling under me like a fish out of water. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he chose the wrong opponent tonight. I did not strike him after that and decided to hold him down until the bouncers showed up to end this worthless spectacle. He was lucky I didnt beat him unconscious.

Eventually I feel someone grab me and I go with it thinking it was a bouncer. It was a Japanese guy clearly telling me in English that "there's no fighting here". Someone else helps the bully up and there is a commotion between us. My impression was that we were surrounded by staff and they were trying to get the facts straight. Suddenly this fucker reaches over the crowd and sucker punches me in the nose. We get separated before another fight ensues. I am very corporative and let the Japanese guy holding me back know that I'm not here for trouble but as you can see I just got punched in the face for wanting to keep the peace. In the middle of our conversation, on the left side of my eyebrow I suddenly feel not a fist, no this had a shattering feeling to it, I was hit with a bottle or a cup. At that moment I knew I was cut. This motherfuckah just smashed me in the face with a bottle and ran off ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘Who the fuck was in charge!? Who the fuck was holding him back? I could instantly feel the blood running and tried to chase after him but I had no idea where he went.

The same Japanese dude is telling me not to fight and I tell him "fuck you, do you work here? I'm holding back trying to keep the peace and I'm getting damaged" he did not work here nor did anyone who was on the dance floor ♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪ Lesson learned: don't let your guard down or give up control of the situation to people you don't know until the threat is over.

I'm being held back but I push away and just tell Coney I need to find my glasses so we can get out of here. Glasses found, now to the lockers. Walking over there I could feel the blood dripping like a waterfall and bystanders giving me horrified looks. As I grab my stuff from the locker, people see me and begin asking me if I'm ok? Do you need to go to the hospital? Are you hurt? "I'm fucking good" (blame it on the adrenaline) yet the feeling of blood streaming down my face made me wonder if I needed stitches to stop the bleeding. The Labron James looking dude walks in concerned and wants me to go to the hospital. I assure him I'm ok and will be on my way. He flags down the staff and finally someone who works here shows up. The bouncer begins to question me on what happened. I began to think 'I got some questions for you'. "where the fuck were y'all while a UFC event was taking place on the dance floor?" these guys are quick to show up and kick me off the stage for dancing but apparently my fight had enough time to get videotaped for a whole round and get uploaded on YouTube before you clowns showed up. I was pissed and thought of the possibility that if I was struck an inch lower I could have lost an eye ！(◎_◎;)

The bouncer doesn't speak much English and escorts me out the door to another staff member who speaks perfect English. As soon as the questionnaire begins I already know what direction it's headed. Not do you need help; which I didn't, but is this your fault. I'm at least giving a napkin to stop the blood flow. I am being told that the guy I got into a fight with said I started it and blah blah blah. I don't know where this is going but certainly not in the direction of justice. If they got another story that means he is still here. I look down the hall and bingo there is the man who just scar my face. He is talking to another bouncer while holding his head with some sort of towel. My eyes are no good without my lenses which I wasn't gonna put over my bloody face, so I wasn't sure what kind of damage he sustained but at this point I wasn't satisfied enough and wish I would have beat him til the paramedics showed up.

I'm escorted up the stairs with the KK crew to exit out the club. When I hit the streets I turn around and there he is behind me and I'm being told by a bouncer to shake hands. Fuck that. I wanted to go on the offense  (*｀へ´\) but I was held back by the thought of being arrested, deported, and banned from Japan. And that thought would just break my heart 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。I let the bouncers know to just keep him the fuck away from me. You think it would be me and the crew on our merrily way but NO. This motherfuckah has the nerve to say "what did you say to me?" strolling in my direction with his 'tough guy walk'. I wasn't having it and my response was the obvious choice. "you know what the fuck I said motherfuckah". I toss my bloody napkin in his face and get into my fighter stance for another round. He freezes and stands in his place not coming within striking distance. I see the bouncers sitting back just watching. The thought that I actually relied on these scumbags to do the right thing disgust me and I will never go to club pure after this. I can just tell they are waiting to see who throws the first punch. There was no one between us and my enemy stood there with his hands in his pocket as if he knows something I don't, but what he doesn't know is that I'm ready to die here 死

Kodama immediately grabs my arm and pulls me away to leave. My final words to him are as poetic as my anger allows "your a bitch for life" and I walk off...

I think all the silence is worst than all the violence - Lupe Fiasco

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